"Alfred Hitchcock is a great director and is well known for the suspense he puts into his movies especially in The Birds (1963) since the start you see birds everywhere just flying around and as the title is The Birds you just know something is going to happen with them, but about twenty minutes through the movie a bird finally attacks, that doesn’t mean its over though you’d think that the birds would just start going crazy and attacking anyone they see, but as always the suspense is there you’re just waiting wondering when they’re going to attack..."
George - phew - this is one LONG sentence - and also, read it out loud - you're writing as if you're talking, which is why your style is too chatty and flip and not 'academic' enough. As suggested, you need to develop a more sophisticated, more formal 'voice' in which to write your reviews (and indeed your written assignments...)
I hope you're still working with Tracey A.?
However - the comparative illustration between the storyboard and the 'chaos' scene is most informative and you use this well to illustrate your point.
"Alfred Hitchcock is a great director and is well known for the suspense he puts into his movies especially in The Birds (1963) since the start you see birds everywhere just flying around and as the title is The Birds you just know something is going to happen with them, but about twenty minutes through the movie a bird finally
ReplyDeleteattacks, that doesn’t mean its over though you’d think that the birds would just start going crazy and attacking anyone they see, but as always the suspense is there you’re just waiting wondering when they’re going to attack..."
George - phew - this is one LONG sentence - and also, read it out loud - you're writing as if you're talking, which is why your style is too chatty and flip and not 'academic' enough. As suggested, you need to develop a more sophisticated, more formal 'voice' in which to write your reviews (and indeed your written assignments...)
I hope you're still working with Tracey A.?
However - the comparative illustration between the storyboard and the 'chaos' scene is most informative and you use this well to illustrate your point.
yeah I'm Still seeing Tracey I'll talk to her about my reviews and get some help on them
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